• crewders

...whose days last 4387562983475 hours

Updated: Mar 30, 2020

The Lock Down: day 6

09:11 All fed. Them bacon and eggs. Me a smoothie. Must try to lose some of the 7lbs weight gain. At this rate, 7lbs a week for 6 weeks. Holy shit. 3stone. I. MUST. STOP. BUYING. M&S. SALTED. CARAMEL. HOT. CROSS. BUNS. But we know I won’t.

Washing done.

Mopped floors.

Roast chicken soup bubbling.

Slow cooker chilli on.

Beryl is asleep on walk with baldy having got up at 0530. Cheers hun, why on earth would you want to make these days any bloody longer?

Army work out done.

Spoke to mum.

Spoke to entire family in whatsapp group.

Spoke to best mates in whastapp group.

Waiting for stretch work out.

I repeat it’s 09:11. FUCK MY LIFE.

2pm She’s asleep. We could nap but sacked it off for TAKEN goddam Liam Neeson is good. I will find you and I WILL KILL YOU. Oh also a G&T. Figure time no longer exists so who cares when the drinks are poured?

Does slightly alter the afternoon events. Make and do, digging in the garden, teddybear picnics etc have all been sacked off for various video calls and more gin. Had a house party with cousins and sis but got an alert to say YOUR DAD wants to join the party so we sacked that off for whatsapp. Safety in what we know.

6pm I can’t take it anymore, I make a run for it. To M&S. I’ll decide if parma ham wrapped manchego rolls are essential items or not thanks very much.

8:45pm Want to be asleep but said I’d do a ZOOM call with mates. After today I am OFFLINE. And just promised baldy from Monday NO BOOZE during the week. Have been reminded that I’ve said this every weekend since Valentines. But this time I mean it. The scales DON’T lie. 7lbs on now since peak illness weight in Feb. FFS.

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