… who is an April Fool

The Lock In Day 10

07:10 OMG slept the night in my own bed and she didn’t wake up once. Lies. He tells me she screamed at 4am but I was snoring.

08:30 Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you OH HOLY FUCK he stops mid song and I watch a candle destroy his dressing gown arm. I throw a pint on him, the cake and the sodding glass of prosecco. Never mind babe, it’s the thought that counts. Leaving the mess, I retrieve the bottle of prosecco from the fridge. May as well start as I mean to go on.

12:30 She’s asleep. Wanna get pissed and watched TAKEN? Best decision we’ve ever made, until 2pm when she’s up and fuming and we’re less than ready to parent, I mean me. He’s back to work. Ugh.

4pm Family ring on FT. We have seen each other 100% more than ever before during this time. In fact, I’ve arranged WhatsApp calls, FT calls and ZOOM calls with almost every single person I have ever met. No joke, the girls from uni, who I’ve not spoken to for years, maybe even the past decade, want to do a video call. Why? It’s driving me insane. Not least because I have only washed my hair once during this whole thing. No one wants a normal call anymore. They all want your face. And mine is not looking good.

8pm Remember Dave. I am clearly not a responsible person if I can not remember the one good deed I am doing daily. Run to the church with birthday cake and a note. Feel a bit emotional about my new homeless penpal.

10:30pm Successfully drunk from 08:30 till 10:30pm which I’ve not done in a long time. Go to bed loving life but deep down I know this is gonna come back and bite my 38 year old arse come 7am.