
…who imagines the worst
The Lock Down Day 16 07:10 It’s going to be a long day. She opens her eyes and says; “MY CAR”. “Yes darling we will go and play with your...
I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE...
...bribes the 1yr old with Peppa Pig...who has been on a diet since 1992...who has as a serious, unhealthy addiction to Facebook marketplace...who swears too much...who drinks too much...who is permanently a sleepdeprivedmum...who overthinks...who overeats...and who keeps the dry shampoo industry up and running.
The Lock Down Day 16 07:10 It’s going to be a long day. She opens her eyes and says; “MY CAR”. “Yes darling we will go and play with your...
The Lock In Day 10 07:10 OMG slept the night in my own bed and she didn’t wake up once. Lies. He tells me she screamed at 4am but I was...
The Lock Down: day 7 06:30 Yes, yes the clock may well say 6:30 but its bullshit isn’t it? It’s still 5:30 just the clock’s gone forward...
The Lock Down: day 6 09:11 All fed. Them bacon and eggs. Me a smoothie. Must try to lose some of the 7lbs weight gain. At this rate, 7lbs...
The Lock Down: day 5 I mean it's simply a repeater of day 4 Early start 43875643987 activites No rest Ate too much Drank too much Didn’t...
The Lock Down: day 4 06:30 In she comes and I know it’s going to be a tricky start. She sobs because I won’t give her my ear plug. Christ...
The Lock Down: day 3 05:55 Woke with a start thinking I was about to shit myself. Realised I was in fact about to shit myself as I’d put...
The Lock Down: day 2. It didn’t start well. 06:10 he brought Beryl in. I’d slept in the spare room in fear of cough catching / spreading...
Oh yeah course I’m not, hello UK LOCK DOWN 😭 The Lock Down: day 1 8:30pm Boris told us all we were essentially in jail. We are allowed...
Help me. I am 37 years old and I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. NO, you are wrong I am not an adult, I do NOT have my...
EVER. I’m talking never. Oh no wait, that’s bullshit. I can sleep for roughly 6mins but then I’m up. Take tonight for example. I got 5...
Which sounds like a dare from student days. But alas stood on the hardshoulder of the M4 covered in milk puke in my bra is not quite a...
He lands back from a 3-day trip away, ok working but nonetheless, read the word AWAY. I on the other hand have not been first class to...
Seriously though, icantbetheonlyone
As is the nature of my life at the minute, everything is a voice note. EVERYTHING. Forget texting its not quick enough, talk to text is...
I co-produced / presented a documentary on miscarriages leading up to the birth of Beryl. And it just so happened to be on air 10 days...
4 days after the trauma of a c-section, having eaten a bag of prunes and drunk shit tonne of orange juice I finally gave into a poo tea;...
Day one: Jet lagged, emotional and confused. I woke up at 6am, not bad considering he now appears to snore (I was not informed of this...